No judgement, letting go & intention those have been the three different focuses of the yoga classes I have gone to the past 3 weeks.  And as we start the class and the instructor begins to discuss what the “theme” of the class will be for the day I have thought every time wow that’s exactly what I needed.

At the end of class today the instructor thanked me for being there (I’ve been the only one to show up the past two weeks). I thanked her for doing these classes and that I really needed it. She began speaking about the stresses of my generation and she said something about how she never imagined she would be sitting here teaching yoga.  That struck a chord.  Not because I never imagined I would be doing yoga.  I’ve always had an interest but I think I really liked the idea of being someone that does yoga and not actually putting in the work.  But it struck a chord more on a life level.  I know it has to do with the fact that my mom has cancer but I don’t know if it’s more I can’t believe she has it or I can’t believe we’ve made it this far.  Hard to tell.  All I know is I started to open up to her.

I revealed my mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer in June and the journey of her chemo and the not knowing if she could have surgery and the more chemo and the genetic testing and her previous breast cancer. She began to tear up a bit as I recounted the events of the past almost 7 months.  I told her the yoga was really helping me just clear my head and I was thankful for the class.  As I was leaving she told me see you next week and blessings to your mother. I feel a calmness I haven’t felt all week. Part of it was probably the yoga but I think the other part is when I was telling her everything that has happened I realized we are still standing.  So whatever these scans say and whatever happens next we will make it through because we’ve made it this far.