There are variety of directions I considered taking this post. I’ve been sitting in the same spot for an hour and a half drinking my strawberry acai refresher from Starbucks trying to think of something.
I could go deep and talk about the suckfest that was Wednesday. I could give you the facts and the game plan. I could try and be funny or lighthearted or try to be super positive.
So maybe I’ll just try real. I don’t know how I’m feeling or what to think. Wednesday was the same as it’s been for a while. CA125 keeps going up and due to a combination of things mom didn’t have chemo on Wednesday. This treatment plan just isn’t cutting it. It’s begun to feel pointless for her to feel like garbage and stay in the hospital when the chemo isn’t doing what it’s supposed to be doing. So after consulting with nurses and the oncologist she was discharged and went home.
She (and we) get the next two weeks to regroup and get ready for a new plan. On April 4th she will have a CT scan and on April 8th we will go over that and talk about what chemotherapy to try next.
It’s a lot and it’s the same thing over and over again which is both numbing and frustrating. It also feels surreal because she looks good (which we are incredibly thankful for…I’m not complaining…just trying to convey my emotions). They’re coming back with these numbers and scans that indicate cancer growth and she doesn’t look sick. She looks like her. So it’s hard to wrap your brain around.
Thank you all for your love and support and prayers and kind words. It means so much to us. 💜