Nothing to see here just a girl sitting in a public cafeteria crying while watching a sad show. And then the text comes through that Mom gets her B12 shot tomorrow. It’s to combat side effects. She will be set to start chemo the week of November 4th. And now I’m crying not because of the show but because of real life.
The past 3+ years have been a time of memories and miracles but it’s also been a time of worry and heartache. We are blessed to be going back to Disney in 10 days. But the things that come after that, well it feels scary. With a new drug comes new side effects. And then there is the whole what happens when this thing doesn’t work?
I’m doing my best to enjoy the moments but the thoughts still creep in. And I will wake up certain mornings at 2am just sick to my stomach because the idea of another drug not working is too much to handle.
So I just let myself feel all the feelings because that’s all I can do. So sometimes I will laugh and sometimes I will burst into tears and that’s ok.