Here’s the thing. I have been trying to write this blog for like an hour. Trying to find the right words. And there are no right words. Today was another hard day. Today we decided to begin at home hospice services and I hate it. The woman from hospice was very comforting and caring. I just hate what it all means.

Here’s the thing. Things aren’t great. Everyday is different or just a version of the same. Nights are rough and she hasn’t had a full good day in a long time. She hasn’t left the house since her palliative care appointment.

The reality of all of this is settling in and the fact that the best is behind us. Disney can’t save us this time. However, we did have a nice little Disney shopping spree from the couch a couple nights ago.

Watching her go through this is painful. We are all just really sad and the worst part is that we aren’t even at the worst part. We laugh, we cry, we sit in silence, we watch home videos. All of this just feels like a really big suckfest.