The cancer is throughout the lymph nodes in her abdominal cavity but it hasn’t grown much so they are considering it stable. The lymph nodes grew by 0.2cm on average.  So while they are growing they are growing at a super slow rate.  So that’s why they are classifying it as stable. In order to keep it stable she will have to be on chemo indefinitely. They will stick with the same drug she is on and are adding another chemotherapy drug next cycle.  They will stick with this protocol until either the lymph nodes grow larger by 30% or she has a severe allergic reaction. He let us know that this isn’t going away with treatment and that the goal now is to keep it small and stable.

So while it isn’t the best news its certainly not the worst.  We would have liked to have heard,  “These things are shrinking and you should be in remission in no time”, absolutely! But we also didn’t hear, “It’s growing out of control and there’s nothing we can do”.  So ya it’s a bummer, but it could’ve been worse.  So that’s what were rolling with.

**Thank you all for taking the time to read the blog, pray for us, reach out to us and surround us with so much love and support.  It truly means more than words can express.  You are all wonderful and we appreciate every single one of you!**

My mind is somewhere else and it probably will be this entire week. It’s torn between what my mom’s test results will be and remembering to get eggs to make cupcakes for Julian’s birthday.

I’ve developed a coping mechanism over the past couple years. I’m not really sure if it’s actually a coping mechanism or just an attempt at avoidance.

When my mom was first diagnosed my fears were always at the front of my mind. I would sit on the bathroom floor every night and just cry. Eventually this subsided.

These days I’m almost able to stick my fears in a box and focus on what we have. What we have been blessed with and not what we stand to lose. I’m sure this has come with time, therapy and medication. But on weeks like this I allow myself to open the box. I allow myself to feel my fears.

February 14th she has her scan. And once that scan is complete we know at any moment her nurse could call and give us some crappy news. The 18th she meets with her oncologist so we are guaranteed to know something by then.

Maybe chemo has started working. Maybe it hasn’t. Maybe the next drug they try will slow or destroy the cancer. There are a lot of maybes. But there is one thing I KNOW for sure…regardless of the news we receive we will deal with it how we always have with tears, humor and with love and support from the people around us.