Today marks the first day of Cycle 3.  The last double dose before scans.  A cycle is 21 days.  She has to complete 3 cycles before her CT scan so 9 weeks of chemotherapy.  I remember when we found out and a doctor came in and told us about cycles so I asked what is a cycle? A she told me 21 days and I was so confused thinking 21 days in a row of chemo.  

So I started reading scientific papers and learned some of the chemotherapy lingo. I have read scientific papers on CA 125 levels and what they mean.  I have read papers about neoadjuvant chemotherapy which is chemotherapy given before surgery in order to shrink tumors.

 What are the statistics? What are the odds? What are her chances? Desperately looking for an answer of hope or perhaps knowledge to soften the blow. I have read all of this research and I have come to my own conclusion who the hell really knows. There are so many things that could go wrong and there are so many things that could go right.  The human body is a crazy crazy thing.  Last week white blood cells were low and we thought for sure there is no way she would be able to get chemo today.  Well today they are back up and she is getting that final double dose.  My mom doesn’t fit in that box. She is not simply a statistic. My mother is resilient.