It will be two weeks tomorrow since we found out. During those two weeks a lot of thoughts have ran through my head. But never once have I wondered why her or why our family. Some have told me God will carry us through this, others have said I can be angry with God. But I’m not. I’m not an overly religious person. We were raised Catholic but I don’t go to church anymore. I believe in God. I absolutely do but I can’t for one second think God has anything to do with this.
When I think of God I think of heaven. I think of my grandparents in heaven and at peace. I don’t pray for a miracle. I pray for strength. I pray for strength for my mom and all of us as this unfolds. And if the worst thing happens I have to believe that she will be welcomed into heaven and join the loved ones we have lost already. Because if I don’t have that than what’s the point in all of this.