I’m pissed off and angry at everyone and everything. And not in a why is this happening to me kind of way. Just in a the numbness is going away and all I feel is pain kind of way. I know people try to help and be nice. But I hate their positivity. And no one knows what to say but the positivity makes me feel like they’re not taking this seriously. She has cancer. She has a million stupid tumors and we have to hope and pray that chemo works and some wizard doctor is able to scrape off every bit of cancer. And if not every bit, enough that it prolongs her life. Because if not its just going to come back. So ya I fucking hate everyone and their sunshine and rainbows. I have zero sunshine and zero rainbows. And maybe I’m just really jealous that they still have optimism.