She has songs for the 3 of songs. So many songs. They span throughout our lives. Those songs are a gift. To listen to them and know how she felt about us. Songs about heartache and triumph. Songs that can bring us back to a moment in time. Which brings me to today.

Today is Julian’s opening day for baseball. Back in March I had a dream about mom. In that dream she asked when Julian’s baseball started. I told her April (that’s when practice started). She told me she was sorry she wouldn’t be there. And I told her it was okay. It would be hard but it would be okay.

Julian didn’t play baseball last year due to the pandemic so this is his first game since she passed.

So this morning I’m driving and mentally deciding if I’m going to write this blog post about experiencing new firsts without her as the world opens back up. And on the radio I hear Pink sing the word “Renegade” which was mom’s nickname for Julian. And as I continue to listen it’s this beautiful song about resilience and she sings the word “baby girl” referring to a daughter and it concludes with “I will be with you”. The song is “All I Know So Far”.

Even in the afterlife we are getting songs. Message received mom. You are with us. 💜