Explaining It To Julian

Today my husband and I were talking about someone visiting a doctor and Julian’s first question was “why what’s wrong?” We explained that just like he goes on annual checkups other people do too. 

I have been very careful throughout the past 7 months to explain things to him and try to make sure he doesn’t get scared or worried. Early on I made the choice to tell him his Mimi has cancer and I am glad I did. A few months after mom’s diagnosis my husband came home from work and had a terrible headache. The next day it still hadn’t gone away so I took Julian to school that day. As I was loading him into the car he asked “Is daddy sick like Mimi?”  And reassured him no, that daddy has a headache and he would be fine when he got home from work. 

As my mom’s hair began to grow back between surgery and her next course of chemo we were sitting in the basement and she wanted to take her scarf off but didn’t want to scare Julian. I told her to go for it and he would probably ask questions and then move on. So she removed it and he said “Mimi you have a hair cut like me” and asked why. We explained it was because of the cancer and it would grow. 

For mom’s birthday she wore her wig out to dinner so I prepped Julian on the way there. He’s obsessed with superheroes and dressing up. So I explained just like he wears a Captain America mask, Mimi would be wearing Wonder Woman hair to dinner. 

He knows that if he’s sick he can’t hug her. Or if we are too sick we can’t visit. He will ask to go there after school and if I say no he will follow up with “oh Mimi not feel good”. 

He makes remarks like “Mimi has a little bit of cancer”. He is sweet (sometimes sour) but he is our light in all of this. And I am so proud of him. 

One thought on “Explaining It To Julian

  1. Michelle Stufflebeam says:

    Ashley – I don’t know if your dad told you or not, but that is exactly what Cole said to Grandma Dar when she took off her scarf the first time in front of him -“grandma dar you have the same hair cut as me” Cole was almost 3 yrs old then


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