Rise Up

A few weeks after her diagnosis I was watching The Espys. As I was watching they played a piece on Craig Sager and his battle with leukemia before he received the Jimmy V Perseverance Award. While they were telling his story a woman’s voice began to sing, “you’re broken down and tired of living life on a merry-go-round”. I immediately looked it up and it was Andra Day singing her song Rise Up. As I listened to the lyrics I just began to cry.I have listened to this song at least once a day since I first heard it. Sometimes belting the lyrics in my car feeling empowered. Other times sitting on the bathroom floor with my eyes closed and tears rolling down my face. It all just depends on what kind of day it has been. But one thing that remains the same every time I listen is the love I feel for my family when she sings “all we need is hope and for that we have each other”. I think of my parents and my siblings. I think of how incredibly lucky I am that we have each other.

Friday Night Dinners

Today was the second to last chemo for this course. Today was her first blood transfusion. But let’s not talk about that let’s talk about something fun (this is my moms phrase, I stole it). Let’s talk about Friday night dinners. 

I’m not sure when we started having Friday night dinners. I may have been either a senior in high school or a freshman in college. But every Friday night all of us would come together and go to the Branding Iron for dinner.  Throughout the years the restaurant would change, as would the number of us that could make it based on our different schedules.

Over the past couple months we have kind of reinstated the Friday night dinners but they have changed a bit. Instead of going out to eat we all go to my parents house and they order in. My sister has a very busy coaching schedule and it worked out Friday is the only night she has free. Last Friday was a memorable dinner. We ordered pizza and watched Harry Potter while sitting in my parents sunroom. And then we all took a quiz to see which house we would be sorted into. I got Slytherin. Dad got Ravenclaw. B got Gryffindor. Mom and Lex got Hufflepuff. It was a completely ordinary evening and that’s what made it so extraordinary. 

Go Away September

Oh, September. I’ve never wanted a month to not exist more than September 2016. I’m sure September is a lovely month for someone else.  Perhaps someone is celebrating a birthday or a wedding or a new job.  But it is not an exciting month for us.

September is the month of the big scan and doctors appointments and BRCA results.  September is decisions and planning and waiting and family meetings and more waiting. September is the ultimate roller coaster and I hate roller coasters. September blows. September felt far away when her scan was scheduled and now it’s here. Yes it could be good. Yes the tumors could’ve shrunk but even so I don’t think any of us are ready for what they might say. So you can go away now September. Oh and happy national ovarian cancer awareness month.