There has been a lot of talk of death and dying this week. We did a lot of this talk in the beginning when she was first diagnosed and then we kind of stopped. But now as we are approaching her scan and doctors appointment it’s kind of ramped up again.  I think we are all just scared that the doctor will tell us surgery is not an option and we are trying to be prepared. I’ve got a notebook going with her wishes. Two days ago I told her she could haunt me as a ghost. We laugh and cry. But we’re trying our hardest to laugh. To make twisted jokes. Because the reality of all of this is too painful.