Trying To Find The Light

When I first started this blog my posts were well…on the darker side. After reading one of my blog posts mom had a talk with me and told me she didn’t want all of this to turn me into a bitter person. She encouraged me to try to end my blogs on a positive note and that’s what I started to do.

I think that’s why I struggle to write lately. All of this is pretty dark. The nurse came by today and explained what we can expect as things move forward. Basically everything that’s happening now weakness, lack of appetite, sleeping and confusion will all continue to get worse along with some other things to look out for.

And as my heart is breaking I think of something Julian said to me a few weeks ago. We were watching TV and a commercial came on for Disney World and he said he wanted to go and I told him it would be a while before we go again (this was pre everything shutting down). I said the trip in January was Mimi’s last trip. He informed me that it was not. I started to explain why it was. He told me he knew all that. But that it wasn’t her last trip because in heaven you can go where ever you want. So Mimi would see Disney again when she goes to heaven. And then he pointed to his heart and my heart and told me she will always be right in there.

I’m thankful for all the trips we’ve taken with her. I’m thankful that Julian finds magic in even the darkest of times. I’m thankful for my brother and sister and my mom and dad. And I’m thankful for all of you. 💜

15 thoughts on “Trying To Find The Light”

  1. Thom Kunkel says:
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    Nailed it again, Ash. A ten. Your writing has been transcendent through all of this. Not down, not up. Just what you, your family and those of us who love your Mom have needed just when we needed it. Love, Peace (“and soul” in hope your Dad sees this).

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  2. Ryan K says:
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    The Kunkel’s in Spokane are thinking of you. If you ever need to talk reach out to any of us. We are praying and thing of your family. Julian has such a great outlook.

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  3. Heidi says:
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    Ashley you are an amazing young lady who opened herself to all of us to all us all to be a part of this journey. I thank you for that and for being so supportive and positive in times that are not easy! I remember when you were born all those years ago and my heart is happy and so sad all at the same time! I see a family full of love and can only hope all of you can remain strong and so beautiful! May God Bless all of You , love you all so much❤️

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  4. Karen Becker says:
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    Thank you for being brave enough to share your journey. And thank you for always finding the light, despite the gear and sadness. Tho, you don’t know me, but I am thinking of you and your family. (I went to school with your dad and Uncle Kurt.) Stay strong and take care. ~Karen

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  6. Natalie says:
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    Ashley …we’ve never met…but you are an amazing young lady…just like your mom…and what a precious thought and memory that your son has…praying for you all

    Liked by 1 person

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